That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
