just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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