At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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