I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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