im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Randomize
