so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
