So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
COCAINE IS GR8
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
