I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
