well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
