I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
