So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize