she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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