he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize