my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
