When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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