he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
