you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
