Me. At least after what I've been through.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
