1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
thus making me awesome and them whores
she smelled like a LAN party
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
