I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
