Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
