she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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