RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
