this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
