once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
