haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
