I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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