cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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