you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
