Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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