what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He? As in you personified your dick?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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