Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
