I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
well you can't waste a boner
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
do herpes really smell.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
