I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
