I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
