; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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