I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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