I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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