Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
