He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
