Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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