Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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