I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
