did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
