Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Randomize
