I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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