just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
