I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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