just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
