i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
