just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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