Moan for me like Helen Keller
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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