Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
