i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
