In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
