Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
