Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
