I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
