he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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