Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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